So I'll admit that I have been in counseling for about a month now (probably said this already) but I have been doing a bunch better than what I have been doing. Still hard some days. Today was kind of hard because I got a call from a military program that I signed up for back in December or January. It was for a baby program that is offered by the base and they just wanted to call me today and see if I was still interested in it and I told them no. The lady I was talking to was kind of surprised when I said No so I felt like I had to tell her I miscarried. She said she was very sorry and that she hoped to help me out next time around. Oy! But I didn't cry this time. It was the first time that I didn't cry.
Usually when someone asked me about the baby (happened about a month ago) I freak out! I usually freak out and don't know what to say. This last time I froze and Joe told the lady who asked me that I lost the baby. Then I proceed to just break down. Of course we are in a public place. Man that did suck too.
So now we are getting to the point of maybe trying again. See we'll see, but that's the next issue that goes throw my head. What if we do get pregnant, when do we say anything? Yeah it's supposed to be safe after 13 weeks, but I read some where that if you have had a miscarriage you carry a 25% chance or losing the next one. So now I'm almost to a point of not saying anything till the baby is born! Which I know would never happen. I have known a few women who miscarried all the way up to 18 weeks! So I'm almost leaning till 20 weeks. Then we can just tell everyone we're expecting and the sex of the baby all at once. But you know it's once again as a we'll see. I am no good at secrets and hiding good news. Why is it so hard???
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Britt,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad things are starting to get better. :) I know I've had times where I felt like if today was a little better than yesterday then there is something to hope for.
It is a hard decision of when to announce a pregnancy after what you've been through. We'll always be there for you no matter what. I like the quote from conference "If you stay on the road. . . the end will be better than the beginning." :)
I don't see any reason why you shouldn't tell people you were pregnant again. You might think it would be easier, but imagine if you miscarried again and no one knew. You wouldn't feel as comfortable reaching out for help when you hadn't even told them you were pregnant... It would also be kind of weird if it came up in a conversation. The best thing to do would be to tell everyone! It is still a joyous occasion! No one can predict the future, or even make the 'what ifs' less harsh if they do happen. Well, it's your choice, you know what you're most comfortable with.But, I'd be pretty miffed if you didn't tell me : ) Just sayin'. By the way, I got rid of facebook again.
ReplyDeleteDue to our experiences, I wait AT LEAST until I see a heartbeat to tell family (outside of The Husband, of course) but others I wait until further along or if someone asks. My OB told me last time that the most successful time to have a baby is after a miscarriage...
ReplyDelete