Between a rock and a hard place

So this week we decided to change David from rear facing to front facing.  Most of you are probably thinking what's the big deal.  Well if you watch the above video maybe you to would think a little differenly of it.  Our car is getting past it's prime.  With over 194,00 miles on it and an AC that the highest setting on it no longer working David was simply just getting to hot facing the rear.  We had 100+ degrees a lot lately and our car gets a little hot with the faulty AC.  We made a simply drive from Moore to base which takes about 15/20 minutes and the back of his shirt was soaked.  I just couldn't put him through that in these hot days.  I just hope we'll be ok.  Also his chair has a really high back so that also stops the air flow.

So David is in a toddler bed.

So last month David climbed out of his crib twice in a day.  So mamma bear here decided it was time to convert his crib.  He actually does pretty well with it.  Bed time was pretty bad at first.  I'd lay my head by him until he fell asleep.  Most of the time I'd fall asleep too just laying there in the dark.  I know one time Joe came in after I was in there for like an hour to find me asleep on the floor. 
Now I just put him in his bed and I know he is getting out right after I turn my back to get out of the room.  But it's fine.  He will play mostly even crys a little sometimes, but he always makes it back into his bed before he falls asleep.  A lot of times he brings the baby monitor into his bed with him.  I'm not sure why, but it happens a lot! 
So naps are still a little iffy, but I think of the whole time he's only missed two naps.  Though he may play around for a long time but he always lays down to sleep.  Well what makes matters worse with that now is that he's figured out how to open the doors in our place.  So we have a baby gate infront of his door.  I did buy those door lock thingys, but will have to wait till after he wakes to put it on the inside of his door.  So hopefully he won't be opening the door every time.
But besides those two things I feel like it hasn't been that bad of a deal.  So my question for you guys how on earth do you keep your kids room clean when they pull every thing down every time they are supposed to be sleeping in their room?  I tried putting stuff in his closet, but he opens that door too and messes with stuff.

What's going on in my mind.

So I have a question. My husband only has like 10 months left of his enlistment. We are gonna try again for another baby (we just lost one in april) so my question is if we ended up getting pregnant and he gets out what are our options? Like do we get medicaid or something like that? The real plan is to try one last time and then just hold off till he gets employment after. But I guess what if we got pregnant after the initial idea. The plan is for him to get out and us to go back home.  Am I crazy for even thinking about another baby right now?  Some people seem to make me feel so.  :/

Things I didn't know about pregnancy and nursing until I had to do it myself!

http://www.modgblog.com/2011/08/04/10-things-about-boob-feeding-that-only-im-going-to-tell-you-you-my-friend-are-welcome/
The above link is a very funny way to look at nursing.

So with people either pregnant with their first or working on the second I know a lot of babies/toddlers these days.  I guess with the idea of becoming pregnant again there is always the thought of all those kind of odd things that happen to you when you were pregnant that you didn't truly hear about till you went through them yourselves.  So I'm just going to list as many things as I can remember about each category (one for pregnancy and one for nursing).  If there is anything funny that you went through and I didn't list please feel free to comment bellow.
So with pregnancy you have:
-I didn't know if I didn't eat like all the time when I finally did eat I'd throw up!  Yay!
-I didn't know my body would start to look like part monkey with all the extra hair looming around.
-I couldn't believe how tired I would get from doing nothing!  I'd sleep like 12 hours a day!
-I know people joke around about peeing all the time but your really do pee all the time!
-I couldn't believe how some of the stupidest things would make my cry either from happiness or sadness.
-I go stretch marks really early and they weren't even on y stomach.  I didn't know you would get them anywhere else.  :(
-Your hair becomes super pretty with all the hormones another plus in my book.
-By the end you don't sleep.  You lay down and your belly goes crazy like it's an after hours party.
-I didn't even want to be touches I was just tired and sick feeling a lot!  Uh I didn't know that would happen since people often talk about the reverse affect.  They just loved people touching their bellies.  Seriously some peoples hugs freaked me out.  I guess maybe it was a protective thing?
-At the end all you can do is eat like a bird.  I'd go out to eat and eat like 5 bites and I could either keep going and get sick or just sit there and stare at my food.  I stared at my food a lot.  lol
-I could not drink soda while pregnant.  All those little bubbles would hurt my tummy for like hours after and it just wasn't worth it.  It sucked because then I wanted it more than anything and it just didn't work.
-So I didn't know you kind of hang out in your maternity clothes for awhile after.  I guess I thought you had your baby and bam your back in normal clothes even though I knew it wouldn't be the same size.  So not true!
So I think that's all the really odd stuff I can think about pregnancy.
With nursing there was:
-That no matter how many clothes you were wearing if you didn't have that nursing pad in place you were screwed!
-You read in all the books about how nursing only hurts if there is something wrong with latch!  That's a lie!  Until your body gets used to it it hurts like someone dragging razor sharp glass down your nipples.
-When the baby comes out your tummy looks like a deflated balloon.
-Your baby will want to eat constantly till your milk comes in.  Well that was a real treat since mine didn't come in till like day 5 after David was born.
-You really get no sleep.  Many nights David and I sleep in an arm chair in the living room since that seemed to be the only way to get any.  Joe and I took 3 hour shifts for a long time just so we knew we were at least getting some sleep.
-You kind of go a little crazy after.  You thought those pregnancy hormones were bad the post pregnancy are worse!  I remember many times just breaking down and Joe having to take David and making me go lay down.
-I became an even bigger worrier after I had David.  I know that's not nursing related but I am always in a heightened state of attention it feels like.
Well that's all I can think of.  Not sure why I wanted to share but I did anyways.

To wean or not to wean that is the question

So David is right about 15 and a half months and still breastfeeding.  Though some days are going really well others are not.  I feel like if only I could get through his last set of teeth (his molars since he already got his canines) then it would be good for both of us since he's a horrible teether and I know I bring him a lot of comfort.  But man between pinching, scratching, biting, talking, distractions, and squirming my poor body doesn't know how much more I can take.  I feel like a punching bag some days and I just wish there was an easier way to wean sometimes since I know it's going to be a battle of wits when it comes down to it.  That's another thing that makes me sad about the baby loss I though since all the changes of milk and what not happen with pregnancy he'd wean himself.  No such luck for me.  I guess I'll figure something out before my nipples are torn off by a toddler trying to stand while nursing!  Yay!

My heart has been broken for the second time.

When I hear the term broken heart I get this image of a teen aged girl who just had some loser dump her after just a few weeks of dating.  The girl will say that she's heart broken because she was in love with him.  I don't feel that way but I just don't know what else to say since I truly feel heart broken in the events that have happened in the last few months.
So as most of you know I lost a baby shortly after moving here in Oklahoma.  If you are not familiar with it you can read about it. http://the-little-roberts-family.blogspot.com/2010/02/worst-tuesday-of-my-life-feb-2.html There.  So with David now being over a year after we came home end of January from a trip to Wisconsin we decided to start trying for a new baby.  I found out I was pregnant March 16th (exactly 4 weeks).  I told Joe on the 18th that I was pregnant by buying a big brother shirt for David.
I had some heavier spotting but wasn't ever to worried about it since it was old blood.  Oh my 26th I have some heavier bleeding where it soaked through the think pants I was wearing.  I was on my way home from the gym with my friend Stephanie.  We also had David and her daughter with us.  She took us all to my house where I called Joe and told him to come home.  I also called the doctor and they told me to go to the ER.  So we were there for 4 hours.  In those 4 hours we had waiting, blood test, urine tests, ultra sound, and a pelvic exam.  It was by no means fun what so ever.
The ultra sound showed nothing.  By nothing I mean it was just a big empty space.  My blood worked showed that I was at least pregnant, but they couldn't tell me for sure that I had miscarried.  So the following Thursday I go in for a blood test to check my hormone blood levels.  And they had actually doubled! I couldn't believe it.  I was so happy, but all happy moments don't always last.
On the 3rd I had another bought of heavier bleeding where I was pretty worried.  Since it was in the morning I got to talk to my doctor before doing anything else.  They had me come in for another blood test and another ultra sound.  The blood test showed my hormone levels were in the 3,000's but it should have been in the 4,000 so that was the first red flag.  Also my baby was measuring (yeah there was actually something there the next time) 5 weeks and 3 days and we couldn't tell if it did or did not have a heart beat.  We could see the valve, but she couldn't find a heart beat, but she assured me it was still a little early since by 6 weeks it was for sure to need to beat by then.
After all those things I got put on complete bed rest.  Though my bed rest wasn't long it was horrible.  Joe was there the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday I was on my own on Thursday.  It was hard because David was a little freaked out because I wouldn't pick him up.  He didn't like having Dad put him to bed one bit.  So we were all having a really hard time with it.  Some wonderful women stepped up to help though.  We got some meals, had some people stop in to spread cheer and just felt very loved.
Then on Thursday (Joe's birthday).  I had my friend Stephanie make a cake, pick up balloons, and pick up an Old Chicago Pizza for Joe's birthday.  Joe went into work at 2.  I had Jennifer Myers stop in to bring me and David some snacks and to keep us a little company.  My friend Bethanie Murphy stopped in to get David to let them play with her kids.  Just minutes after 5 I passed something from down there.  The strange thing is I didn't really feel crampy or anything.  I just felt all over bad all that day.  I called Joe and he told me he'd come back home.  I called the after hours number for the doctor and talked to a super rude nurse.  Then I kept passing more stuff.  I didn't really have high hopes.  I got someone to come over and help Joe with a blessing.
So I go in the following day Friday  I went in for another blood test and my levels had all ready dropped into the 600 range.  So yeah I lost the baby.
Now I get to have weekly blood tests till my levels zero out.  I have another ultra sound tomorrow to make sure everything has passed.  I'm not very excited about that.  All I keep thinking about are the million what ifs that go along with a miscarriage.  What if they had put me on bed rest after the first ER visit, what if I didn't pick David up so much, what if I didn't go to the gym at all while I was pregnant though I was going before hand, and what if I could have just done anything better than I did do.
So I must say an earlier miscarriage is a lot easier than a 12 week one.  Though when you have to have a D&C (Dilation (or dilatation) and curettage (D&C) refers to the dilation (widening/opening) of the cervix and surgical removal of part of the lining of the uterus and/or contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping (curettage)) so there was nothing left to pass.  This time I felt like there was so much for such a small thing.  I feel bad to say that I didn't have very high hopes for this pregnancy.  To many things went wrong way to early.  Every time things were going good I always felt like I was just getting set up to be broken down again and I was right on that one.

All I can say is I'm happy to have my little man that I have.  I'm not sure if we will have another or not before Joe gets out since time is running short for that and I don't want to have a baby without any insurance.  So wish us luck with choosing what to do.  
Above is the shirt I got for David.  Now I'm not sure what to do with it.  :(

David is 15 months!

So David turned 15 months on the 5th.  He had his 15 month appointment on the 6th.  I cannot believe how fast things change some times.  This was the first appointment Joe took David all by himself.  I wasn't doing well so they were on their own.

He's now 35 and a half inches tall and 27 pounds!  So needless to say David is a tank and a half!

We recently had to move up to size 5 diapers for at night.  Which is kind of funny to think about.  But we kept having the over night diapers bust and he kept getting weird skin irritations from the special over night diaper stuff.  So I decided instead of spending extra on these diapers that don't work to try the next size up and it's been working like a charm.

David now has 3 canine teeth, but no molars.  Which I find funny since they are supposed to get their molars first.  So needless to say he's been teething a lot lately which is oh so fun!  He's also been biting me like crazy which is so not fun!

 So this is a photo of David's lovely bed head from this morning.  :)

So David got some new shoes from the Easter Bunny.  :)  This a photo of them.  They make him look like such a big kid since they are like real sneakers!

 David has finally figured out the riding part of his walker!  But he can only go backwards.  I'm almost thinking his legs might be to long for this one.

So David took this lovely photo on easter.  Just thought it was cute so I thought I'd share.

My friend Bethanie was getting rid of some of her back yard toys!  So we scored this one!  David loves it.  But doesn't know how to really move it though he can get it to move a little if he tired really hard to do so.  He just likes climbing in and out of it and pressing the horn.  :)

So we actually didn't change David to a toddler bed.  Just for a few reasons.  Mostly because I'm not super comfortable with David having complete free rain of his room.  Though it is baby proof.just something about him being in his room kind of bothers me a lot.